Foxx Editorial

As an editor and a literary agent, you would not believe the number of opening pages I see on a regular basis. Hundreds in any given month. I’m always so thrilled when I see certain things in open pages cleverly woven into the narrative or dialogue. As an agent, if I find the opening pages lacking too many of these elements, it will cause me to pass on the project. As an editor, it’s my job to help you include as many of these elements as you can, so you can hook your reader and make your book unputdownable.

Of course, these elements don’t stop being necessary at the end of your sample pages (be that 10 pages, 25 pages, 50 pages, etc.). But the sooner you can introduce these things in your story and writing in a unique and clever way, the better chances you’ll have of hooking your reader.

It’s important to note that it’s not necessary to include all these things in your opening pages, but the more you have, the better your story will be. So, let’s get right to it, shall we?

Aside from the obvious necessary scene-setting, which I don’t love to see as an opening line but like to see woven into the narrative (give us specific, sensory details to allow your readers to feel grounded in the scene; let them visualize, but don’t overdo it—let their imagination come into play, too.), I look for:

1. A killer opening line or paragraph that immediately sets the tone and scene and hopefully ties in with the main theme; something that invokes curiosity. I *LOVE* killer opening lines. Something unexpected, jarring (in a good way), surprizing, catchy. Something that makes me visualize and feel curious about what more there is to know.
2. Introduction to the main character and their norm. We need to see the character operating as they usually do, in the world they’re usually in, so we can get a good sense of how different their world is about to become and how much that matters to them.
3. Introduction to or hint at the antagonist or antagonistic force. We don’t need to meet the antagonist in the opening few pages, but it would be good to even get a subtle hint at what or who is out there lurking for the protagonist.
4. Some sort of internal struggle and external circumstances that are putting your main character under stress (remember, the more stress your main character is under, the more tension there will be, and the more the reader will care about what will happen to them).
5. An inciting incident, or at least the hint of one; this is the thing that happens that throws the character past the point of no return and onto their journey. This does not have to happen in the first chapter or two. In fact, according to Jessica Brody in Save the Cat! Writes a Novel, it should happen at around the 10% mark. Sometimes it can happen sooner, and that’s ok, too! But we should definitely know by 10% in what the catalyst is.
6. Main character’s goals—or a hint at them. What do they wish for more than anything? What do they want most?
7. The stakes—what really matters to the main character—because this is what they’re going to lose if they don’t reach their goals by the end of the story. The higher the stakes, the more tension there will be.
8. The Major Dramatic Question (MDQ) (this is the question that will come up again and again for the reader; the will she or won’t she, leading us up to the climax and end of the story). (I believe this term was first used by Cece Lyra, a literary agent superstar at P.S. Literary!)
9. Other characters that are going to either play a role in or affect the outcome of the journey.
10. Emotion and Tension (hint: emotion contributes to the tension!). Emotionality is very important to see, no matter what kind of story you’re telling. You’re appealing to the reader’s emotions, and they subconsciously form an emotional connection to your protagonist. They want the protagonist to win because they care about them. To make them care, weave emotionality into the narrative.

11. Universally resonating lines that make your reader pause, think, and reflect on their own relatable experiences. I absolutely love these lines that ring so true! This also helps the reader form a connection with not only the protagonist, but the author, too! (Cece calls these ‘pause pebbles’ and I love that!)
12. Curiosity seeds—hints that make the reader feel curious and want to read more, often about the character’s background (why they make the decisions they make) or about something they’re worried about. Also a term coined by Cece Lyra (she’s so smart!). When I’m assessing or editing a client’s opening pages or manuscript, I always comment when I spot a curiosity seed. These are the types of things that keep readers turning those pages!
13. An imbalance of power for the main character. If they’re in a position of power, show us how that power or authority is threatened. Show us the protagonist wanting something and having to do something they don’t want to do in order to get it. It could even be something simple, like
14. A surprise—either for the character or the reader—or both! Surprises are great for hooking your reader!
15. Intentional word choices that contribute to the tone/vibe of the story (appropriate for the genre) and the voicey-ness of the character. You must be intentional with every word you put on the page, and this is a skill that is usually developed over time and with practise.
16. More showing than telling (be descriptive to immerse your reader in the scene; let them see it unfolding in their minds). Bestselling novelist and award-winning creative writing instructor Bianca Marais states that showing should be around 70% of the novel, and telling should be about 30%. The telling is the exposition, and you do need these parts because if we had 100% showing, the story would take too long and accomplish the opposite of what you want—it would get boring! It affects the pacing. For example, there may be an experience that you show the reader so they can become fully immersed in whatever that experience is (which helps to form that connection to the reader), but if the character is then telling someone about their experience in the same way, it’s repetitive, so you might instead use telling to summarize and keep the pacing strong. There is an excellent article on showing vs telling here.
17. Not too much backstory, if any at all. This should be the case anywhere in the story, but especially in the opening pages. If you open with a bunch of explanatory information about the past, a flashback, etc., in most cases, the reader will get bored pretty quickly. We want to be in the present moment with the character, learning about them, yes, but seeing what they’re doing now. Even if your story is historical fiction, it’s still in the ‘now’ moment for your character. We want to see them interacting with someone, or something happening to them, seeing what their thought process and reaction is. Backstory must be carefully woven into the narrative (or dialogue) and only in small amounts—and only what we absolutely need to know in that moment. Most of the time, we don’t need an entire scene of backstory. Keep the reader engrossed in the here and now.
18. Lines that make readers theorize based on believable events—and the last line of your sample pages MUST compel the reader want to turn the page to find out what happens next and whether their theories are correct. Theorizing is how readers stay actively engaged in your story. Trying to put puzzle pieces together is what brains do, it’s a need we all have to try to figure things out. If you keep your readers on their toes by using clever little lines here and there that make them curious and think and wonder, they’ll keep reading more.
19. Voice. This is so important because it helps us form the characters in our minds. And each character must be distinctly different from the rest. Example: if you’ve done a good job with differentiating the characters’ voices, you’ll need fewer dialogue tags, which helps tighten up your line-level writing. The reader will be able to recognize who’s talking based on their voice. This consists of mannerisms, internal thoughts (for the POV character only), reactions, how they respond, certain words or phrases they may use and the way they use them, ticks/tells, etc. Essentially, voice is their personality.
20. Specificity. This is crucial! You don’t want to give readers all the details right away, but you need to give readers things they can remember and things that allow them to keep theorizing. If it’s too vague, they won’t have a clear picture of what’s going on, and it can get boring. Give us sharp, memorable details that are specific to the time, place, and people in the scene.
21. Interiority: a close look at the narrator’s thoughts and feelings that give us they whys behind the narrator’s actions. It gives us an idea of all the things that make them who they are: where they come from, what morals and values they have, what life lessons they’ve learned, how they grew up, etc. It’s the things that can’t be physically seen, so if you’re watching a movie, you wouldn’t have access to these internal thoughts and feelings. That’s the great thing about books, though: books give us access to the character’s internal thoughts and feelings, and it can give us so much more depth! A line of interiority gives us some background information about the character, but it gives us so much more than that.

Here is a bonus item, and it’s something I look for there not to be: waking up! Starting a story or even a scene with the character waking up is cliché and uninteresting. Similarly, and equally frustrating, is ending a scene/chapter with a character going to sleep.

This is the perfect time for your reader to put the book down and do the same, and that’s exactly the opposite that you want your reader to do. Be the reason they’re late for work the next morning because they stayed up all night reading your book, unable to put it down! Showing us your character being tired and fumbling into bed, yawning and stretching and feeling sleep come on, is not a crucial part of the story. We might need to know that they sleep, as any being needs to do (unless your character is a vampire, of course), but we don’t need to see this happening in action because it’s anything but action, really. Keep us engaged, keep us curious, end each scene/chapter with a mini cliffhanger, as bestselling author Hannah Mary McKinnon once chatted with me about on this #badasswriters podcast episode.

I’d like to mention one more thing, and that is that there are always exceptions. These are by no means “rules” that you must stick by. If you have backstory in your opening chapter, that’s totally fine—as long as it’s there for a purpose and it’s written well, keeping the reader engaged. It’s the same thing as whether to include a prologue; they’re great if they’re done well. Otherwise, they could hurt your story. So, please take these suggestions with a grain of salt, and apply them however will be most beneficial to your story.

I hope this is a helpful article as you draft or revise those opening pages! Remember, these elements should continue throughout the manuscript to keep the story propelling forward. If you’d like a professional set of eyes on your opening pages or your entire manuscript, you can book an assessment with me here.

What are the types of things you struggle with while drafting? Leave a comment and let me know what advice you’d like to see in future posts!