Writing Community – Foxx Editorial

The Importance of Character Development

December 28, 2022

creative art with black lines on white paper; a character sketch — Photo by Michael Burrows on Pexels.com

Creating characters is so much more than just deciding what they look like!

I’d like to talk a little bit about creating characters and the process I use to flesh out a character. How deeply I dive into it depends on what character I’m developing. Some of the information that I cover may differ depending on the genre. For example, the kinds of things you might need to know about your character in a romance novel may be quite different from the kinds of things you might need to know about a character in a thriller. And these things aren’t all necessary on the page, but they are things that you should know about them in your mind or in your outline because it helps to inform what kinds of decisions they’ll make, what their actions are, what makes them tick.

I have a detailed character development process that’s divided into sections: Personal Details, Physical Appearance, Likes/Dislikes and Other Miscellaneous Things, Theory of Misbelief, What They Want, What They Need, and then some super detailed stuff that I’ll get into in just a bit. I created a set of Character Development Sheets that are available for FREE when you sign up for my newsletter!

So, the first thing I do is cover the basics: name, birthdate, physical appearance, immediate family members, where they live, are they married, do they have kids, what their job is, etc. I’ll even get right down to details like what kind of car they drive or if they still live in the same area they grew up in. The details that you reveal in the book should be ones that have some sort of place in the story. So, for example, you might want to note that your character has a tattoo or a scar in a certain area—if that’s going to come up at some point later on in the story or if it’s pertinent to their personality. Maybe if it’s a tattoo, they got it for a certain reason, which can tell us something about them. The details that you reveal on the page should be specific and meaningful to the plot. Some could be used as clues.

You might want to know what their favourite colour is, if they’re a morning person or a night owl, their least favourite drink, etc. You might want to know miscellaneous things like have they ever broken a bone. If you’re coming up with a character who’s going to be running in a race of some kind, they may have had a break occur when they fell out of a tree as a kid, and now they get an injury that could re-break that bone since it’s already not 100%. Other miscellaneous things are—are they close with their family members? Have they ever had surgery? What are they scared of? Do they like to travel? Do they have aversions to foods or smells, do they have hobbies?

So, all these things might seem mundane at first—and remember, the point isn’t to tell your reader what all of these things are. You need to know your character inside and out. The more deeply you know them, the more authentic they will be on the page. Working through a character development sheet is a really great way to do that.

Consider the image below. What do you notice? If your character has a scar down the side of his face, there needs to be a reason it’s there; otherwise, why bother including it? The scar would likely give the reader a clue as to why he is the way he is; perhaps he was involved in a fight with a group of mobsters and wants to get revenge against the leader. Or maybe he’s a secret agent out on a rogue mission because he wants to assassinate the guy who killed his lover and left him for dead—the only failed mission on his track record and the reason why every agency is after him. Who knows? But the scar is a key feature of his character development, and it can say a lot about his past and why he behaves in certain ways. When you’re pointing out a feature like this, be intentional and make sure there’s a plot-related reason for it. Pro tip: only allude to the scar in a casual manner; a subtle hint dropped in at a point where either he’s irritated by it if he’s the POV character or where another POV character is noticing it. Bring the details behind the scar in later when it matters significantly to the plot.

close up photo of clean-shaven man with neat, dark hair and a scar down the right side of his face, holding glass of whisky. He is wearing a black suit with white shirt and black tie. He's staring at someone with an inconspicuous, almost vengeful look in his eye. — Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Now we get into the nittier, grittier stuff. Something that your character must have in the story is a flaw. A misbelief about themselves. Something that holds them back from reaching their true potential. This is an internal struggle they have about themselves that’s preventing them from reaching their goal, and it’s going to help inform their character arc. If you’re a Save the Cat follower, you’ll recognize this as the Shard of Glass. If you’re a Lisa Cron follower, you’ll recognize this as the Third Rail, which is essential in a story; all external circumstances must come into contact with it in order to build tension and a character arc. So, you should know things like how and when did this flaw start? What happened to give them this misbelief? How does it affect their relationship with others? Or their work? Or their view of the world? How does it affect their personality? How do they deal with stressful times that trigger this misbelief? Is it a secret from others? What physical habit might they have as a coping mechanism? And—very importantly—how do the external circumstances of the plot affect the internal struggle(s) of your main character? With each plot point that occurs, your character’s inner struggle must be affected, elevated, and moved forward with tension. Something that your character must have in the story is a flaw. A misbelief about themselves. Something that holds them back from reaching their true potential. This is an internal struggle they have about themselves that’s preventing them from reaching their goal, and it’s going to help inform their character arc. If you’re a Save the Cat follower, you’ll recognize this as the Shard of Glass.

If you’re a Lisa Cron follower, you’ll recognize the term “Third Rail,” which is essential in every story; every part of the story must come into contact with the Third Rail in order to build tension and a character arc. The Third Rail is the motivation behind the character’s goal. It’s the resistance between the goal and the Shard of Glass. So, you should know things like how and when did this flaw start? What happened to give them this misbelief? How does it affect their relationship with others? Or their work? Or their view of the world? How does it affect their personality? How do they deal with stressful times that trigger this misbelief? Is it a secret from others? What physical habit might they have as a coping mechanism? And—very importantly—how do the external circumstances of the plot affect the internal struggle(s) of your main character? With each plot point that occurs, your character’s inner struggle must be affected, elevated, and moved forward with tension.

And then of course, you need to know what they want. What’s your character’s desire or goal? This is the thing that the character thinks will make them happy and solve their problems—but it may or may not be the thing they need and get at the end of the novel. How do they plan to get what they want? What stands in their way? In addition, you need to know what they actually need. As I mentioned, this may or may not be the same thing as what they want. What do they need to realize about themselves to reach the goal? When do they come to understand this? What’s stopping them? How is this related to them getting what they want?

Now we get into the most detailed stuff. These are things that you may or may not wish to do. There’s no right or wrong way to develop a character, but the thing to keep in mind is, the more you know your character, the more you can understand what their motivations are, and the more authentically they will be presented on the page.

That said, let’s talk about a few other more detailed ways you can get to know your characters.

You can do an Enneagram personality test or a Myers Briggs personality test. I won’t get into everything that they cover, but I’ve found both of them to be fairly accurate personality tests based on people I know, so it should be no different when creating a character. With either of these tests, after you know their basic details and a little bit about them, you can go really deep into their personality to find out all kinds of interesting details about what makes them who they are—habits, tells, emotions, things they struggle with internally and how they might portray that externally, etc. So you can find these websites at www.enneagraminstitute.comand www.myersbriggs.org.

An example of a natal or birth chart from cafeastrology.com; various planets sit in various houses and astrology signs arranged in an outer circle, with red, green, and blue aspect lines drawn between some of them in a middle, smaller circle. — Example natal chart from cafeastrology.com (Click to enlarge.)

The other thing you can do, and I just find this super fascinating, is pull up a birth chart or natal chart from astrology websites like Café Astrology or Astro.com. Now, these are not your typical horoscopes—these go way past horoscopes. These dig down deep into a personality based on the positions of the planets and stars in the sky at the exact moment of birth. And they’re REALLY interesting, so I encourage you to try it out on yourself and see what it says about your own personality.

The aspects of the planets and other objects in the sky and what they can mean for a person’s personality and characteristics and life path are so fascinating and accurate. You can get surface-level details, which are still more detailed than just a regular horoscope, but you can also get sucked down into a rabbit hole because there is a lot of information out there on this stuff. But basically, you can get a fairly accurate look at who your character is in all the different facets of their life. And from that, you can pull out the details that really speak to you and use them to craft your character.

One other thing that is super interesting is the use of tarot or oracle cards. I used to do readings here and there, but it isn’t something I’ve practiced recently. Even if you don’t believe in tarot or are unsure how it works, it can still be an interesting way to help build your characters. I recently read an article on Jane Friedman’s website by author, book coach, and tarot reader Margaret McNellis. But this article takes us through a simple 3-card pull that can help define your character. Go ahead and give it a shot! It’s fun to do and makes you think and interpret and reflect.

So, these are just some of the ways that you can use to build your characters. They can really help you determine what their deepest fears are, what’s their core motivation, what job they might have, how they behave in social situations, how they behave romantically, what personality types or astrological signs they get along with—or not, and all kinds of other useful information.

The last thing I do is answer a whole whack of interview questions—from my character’s perspective. As in, I answer as if I was them. Sounds silly? Maybe. But I’ve found it really, really interesting because sometimes your character’s answers can be a lot different—or more detailed—than if you were to answer them from your perspective. Try it! I have about fifty questions that I use, sometimes I change them out for other ones that come up if I find I’m not using some of them.

If you do anything like this when you’re developing your characters, I’d love to hear how you approach it! Reach out here!

Writing a Synopsis That Works

October 28, 2022

wooden table with a closed laptop and notepad and pen to the left; to the right, a latte on a saucer, with latte art in the shape of a heart flower. — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

If you’re querying agents or publishers, you might be interested in my pre-recorded Queries and Synopses course, which includes either a query or synopsis critique (or both)! Watch in the comfort of your own home, on your own time. Check out the details here!

Book your edits or assessments with me here!

In my two most recent posts, we went through some pitches and queries.

Now comes what is arguably the toughest part of putting together a query package: the SYNOPSIS.

So many people dread writing this because the instant mindset is that you have to take your entire 80-100K+ novel and squeeze it down into a page or two. And that’s where the stress comes in. Stress leads to procrastination, and that leads to the wrong frame of mind to be in when you finally force yourself to sit down to write it.

I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be that way. Below, you’ll find tips and advice on how to navigate it and change your mindset about it.

But first, let’s look at what a synopsis is.

If you’re at all like me, the first time you sit down to tackle the synopsis of your first completed manuscript, you’ll agonize over how the hell you’re going to explain your entire novel in only a page or two. You’ll end up typing a several-page-long summary of your book. It’ll have details flying from every direction, it’ll be exhausting to read, and you just won’t feel good about it. You’ll worry: is it too much? Is it not enough?

And then, once you realize how long it is, you’ll stress even more about having to compress it even further and it just compounds the stress.

Why do we do this? Because we know the story inside and out. We’ve looked at it more times than we’d care to remember. We’ve produced blood, sweat, and tears over this baby and as much as we love it we just want the hard part to be overrrrrr. And we put all.of.the.details into the synopsis because our brains are so entangled in the story that we can’t wade through the main points to decide which ones to leave in and which ones to take out. We get stuck in a thick swamp of words and sentences and paragraphs and chapters and we just want to bang our heads against a wall.

But I’m going to throw you a life preserver.

dark, moody image of an old orange life preserver with a reflection in the water below

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Kat, we already talked about this with the query and the pitches. Extracting the main points and laying them out in one or two paragraphs for the blurb, and then getting even more extractier and crafting a 250-character pitch.

Yes, but there’s a difference between a query and a pitch, and then a synopsis.

The query is the first thing the agents see. It’s our first connection with them. We want to dazzle them with our ability to hook them into the story with voice, characters, plot, goals, and stakes. We also want to tell them a little bit about where the book will be in the market, and about ourselves.

With pitches, we have an extremely limited amount of space, so we have to pick out those crucial elements and splash them onto the screen in less than 280 characters. The hookier, the better. Mic drop lines are highly recommended.

But a synopsis is different. A synopsis comes after you’ve generated interest with the pitch (if you do pitch events), and after the agent has invested some time in the query and usually at least the first few pages or chapters. You want to tell more than what’s in the query blurb (or back cover copy), but less than the actual book itself.

So, my goal with this post is to help prevent you from feeling like you’re doing this:

gif of one male in a workshirt and tie standing in front of a corkboard with all kinds of papers and red lines between them, with his hands on his head and gesturing, trying to explain something the another male worker who stands there looking confused.

And instead, show you how you can be confidently doing this:

woman wearing a blue shirt walking out of an office bringing her arm down in a "yes!" fashion. Text: That's how it's done.

One of the tricks I’ve learned along the way while I’m outlining and drafting is to keep notes on the most important parts of each chapter. I use Scrivener for drafting, and it has a handy-dandy lil feature called the corkboard. This is like the on-screen version of Post-it Notes on the wall. Either way makes it easier to write your synopsis after you’re done drafting because you’ve kept track of the main points of each chapter on a little side sheet. If you’ve already written your MS by the time you’re reading this, try doing this after the fact. Or, continue reading for some other ways of composing a synopsis.

Something else I’ve learned along the way is to try, at least in part, to write the synopsis before you start drafting. I do this at least with my query, back cover copy, and pitches. But the synopsis is basically a play-by-play of the story’s most important parts. All the parts that connect and move the story from beginning to end and the WHYs. And if you think about it, isn’t that what you’re doing when you’re telling yourself (and others, in your excitement) the story when it first hits you? So instead of just word-vomiting it to get your thoughts out, make a bulleted list of what’s happening as you work through that first amazing idea of the story. These are the major plot points that are going to come out on the pages in your draft. Yes, they might change a bit, and you might add to them, but this first skeleton draft of a synopsis is a great way to lay out the bare bones of the story without crowding them with a bunch of extra stuff. Whatever you add or change can be tweaked here later.

Doing it this way can also help you keep on track when you’re slogging through the middle and wondering what the hell you were doing in the first place.

A very confused-looking man with frizzy hair and glasses making lots of confused-looking facial expressions.

Something that often gets asked in the writing community is: “Do we need to put spoilers in the synopsis? I don’t want to give away the ending!”

The simple answer is yes. You do. The synopsis is helpful to the agent in that it gives a point-by-point breakdown of what’s in your story AND it lets them know you know exactly what’s going on. Because if you don’t have a good grasp on your story, how will anyone else? You need to know how to talk about your book, describe your book, and understand it inside and out. It’s going to have to show the story arc and the character arc. It’s going to have to show what exactly happens, using specifics, to propel the character out of the norm and into a new set of circumstances. It’s going to show what Big Bad Thing the character faces, what they stand to lose if they don’t face it, the Actual Bad Things that happen along the way, and how the character overcomes those obstacles and gets the want and/or the need in the end.

We don’t want hints here. We want the goods. Gimme the goods. Don’t leave any cliffhangers. The synopsis is not the place to leave the reader (aka the agent) questioning what happens. The questions need to be answered. The ending needs to be told. The query is the teaser; the synopsis is the meat and potatoes of the story. Most often, the agent will read the first few chapters of your manuscript, and if they’re interested, the synopsis will let them gauge whether or not the story is going in a direction that they’re going to want to invest their time in. So make sure you take the time to write it as clearly and concisely as possible.

The query is the teaser; the synopsis is the meat and potatoes of the story.

Don’t worry—the synopsis isn’t for anyone else but you, your agent, and those in the publishing world who will be deciding whether or not to make you an offer on your book. The general public doesn’t see it—they only see the finished product.

The tricky part about synopses is that some agencies want one page, some want two, some want three to five pages, etc. For the most part, the general rule of thumb is that it’s single-spaced on one or two pages, and under a thousand words. A pretty safe range is between 500-800 words.

Ask yourself: if I remove this detail, can the story still move forward as told in the synopsis? If the answer is yes, you don’t need it in your synopsis. If, on the other hand, it is a crucial element to the character or plot development, and the story can’t exist without it, that’s what you need to include in the synopsis.

You don’t want to make it flowery and pretty. You don’t need voice to shine through here. This is literally a play-by-play of your book. This happened, then this happened, which led to this happening. But you have to lay it out in such a way that shows the character arc and what’s driving the tension and propelling the story forward. Each thing you mention should be in a cause-and-effect relationship.

Don’t start out by saying, “We begin with…” or “This novel is about…” No. Dive right in. What’s on your opening page? Start there. Tell us what is happening to whom, by whom or what. You only need a couple of descriptors about your MC, so you don’t need to get into a whole backstory about their life.

Don’t mention every single character. If your character is at the coffee shop ordering a latte and they chat it up with the barista, there’s no need to mention this in the synopsis UNLESS the barista is going to end up being a major character or reason that something big happens. And if it’s just a hint in the story, keep it a hint in the synopsis. Lay the synopsis out the same way the story is laid out. Reveal the details at the same time they’re revealed in the story.

You also want to write in the third person present, even if that’s not the way your story is written. Keep it direct and professional. Don’t include sarcasm, even if your MC is a sarcastic SOB. If your MC swears, it doesn’t need to be included in the synopsis.

Keep in a neutral tone. You don’t need to be voice-y here. Leave out the emotion—save it all for the actual novel (and the query).

The synopsis needs to follow the same structural outline as your book does. So if you have a non-linear timeline, the synopsis paragraphs need to reflect that.

Piece of cake, right? I know—you’re probably feeling overwhelmed with the thought of having to do this. But fear not! Here are some exercises you can do to bring it all together.

Exercise: Remember how I talked about using Scrivener’s cork board feature or Post-it Notes to keep a small summary of each chapter? Start by writing a few lines (really, just a few) as a summary of each of your chapters. If you were to give me a blurb about a chapter, how would you summarize it? Challenge yourself to 3-4 lines. Then, combine some of the paragraphs so the synopsis doesn’t look choppy; just be sure they flow nicely together. You don’t need to break to a new paragraph for each chapter. But if you have a dual-timeline, it’s a good idea to separate those chapters.

When you read it back to yourself, it’s going to sound boring. THAT’S OK. It should sound boring. Just make sure that you’ve covered WHY these plot points matter to the character and their journey.

I can almost guarantee it’s going to be way too long when you’re finished. This is where it’s a good idea to get another set of eyes on it to help with reducing the word count. Your instinct is going to be, “No way! I don’t want to give out spoilers!” But I promise you, giving your synopsis draft to a trusted critique partner or writer friend will help you take that synopsis from meh, to good, to great.

Why? Because as I mentioned above, just like with your query, your brain knows your story. It’s hard to pinpoint only the most crucial elements without getting bogged down by all the other details embedded in those 100K words. An outsider’s perspective is imperative to cutting out the words and elements that aren’t 100% necessary.

Remember that tip I told you I’d give you about changing your mindset about synopses? It is this: Don’t think of your query or synopsis as things you have to scrunch, mash, pound, flatten, squeeze, and trample on to make it fit into something that’s too small to contain it.

Instead, think of it as starting from the ground up. And here’s another easy way to do that:

Whether you’re a pantser or a plotter, try using a Beat Sheet in the vein of Save The Cat. If you’re unfamiliar with Save The Cat, I highly recommend reading it! There are many craft books out there, but this one is widely known and used, and it works wonders. You can grab a copy > here (just make sure to change it to your region before ordering). This is not an endorsement, I just really love the book!

The cover of the crat book, Save the Cat! Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody. Orange at the top with the title in yellow, white at the bottom with a cat hanging by its claws from a rope, trying not to fall.

If you have a copy or you purchase one on your Kindle and can access it right away, take a look at pages 24-26. Grab a notebook and a pen. Space out the fifteen points noted there in the craft book. (Definitely read the book for in-depth help on plotting your next novel!) Fill in what happens at each of those fifteen points as it pertains to your story. Don’t get too wordy. Only put in the essential plot points and why it all matters to your MC.

In all of those areas, you should be able to pick out the things that are happening and jot down a few summarizing lines about them. If you’re having trouble, this could indicate some plot holes—and this is another good reason to do a synopsis because it helps spot plot holes. And you NEED to fix those before your manuscript can be ready for querying.

Somewhere in there, your MC should have a secret. And/or flaws. And a misbelief about themselves. Do we include these in the synopsis? Absolutely! Yes! These things are the reasons why what happens in the plot matter to the MC. It’s helping shape their character arc. But do we say things like, “This is [MC name]’s secret. This is her character flaw. This is her theory of misbelief.” No. We need to weave them in throughout the story as they are revealed in the story.

If you don’t want to use a Beat Sheet, you can also answer a few key questions:

Who is your character?
What do they want?
What is holding them back? A secret? A flaw? A mindset? A misbelief about themselves? Someone or something else entirely?
What happens to the MC to completely blow them out of their normal world and into a new one?
What will happen if they don’t decide to take this journey?
What and/or who stands in their way of getting what they want, or perhaps what they need (not necessarily the same thing!)?
What happens when those obstacles bring them down? HOW do they bring them down? (Be specific!)
What is the life lesson that they learn? How do they learn it?
How do they finally accomplish their goals? Detail how they overcome their Bad Guy (whatever or whomever that is). This is the epic final battle, or how they get their HEA (happily ever after), or win the competition they never thought they could—whatever they need to do to reach their goals will involve learning a life lesson and disposing of their misbelief, and usually with the help of another crucial character… explain how it’s done.
What does life look like now that they’ve gotten what they needed (and sometimes what they wanted)? How does this all tie back to the beginning of the story?

Go through each of those things as they happen in your story, write out a few lines about each point, and bring it together into a single document that flows well together from one paragraph to the next. But remember, the plot points need to be revealed in the synopsis in the same order they’re learned in the story.

These aren’t the only ways to write a synopsis. Each writer has their own method to the madness. But hopefully, this will help you come up with a couple of options for your current manuscript and future novels you write. (No, the synopsis-writing doesn’t end when you find an agent. The editors want to read them, too—for each book you write!)

Don’t forget to get some feedback on your finished draft! It’s just like your manuscript—you need to have it critiqued to help ensure you’re getting all the main points on the page and leaving out what really doesn’t need to be there.

If you want a set of eyes on your synopsis, I do offer a service that covers that here.

If you got this far, thank you so much for reading. ?? I hope you’ve enjoyed it, I hope you’ve found it helpful, and I wish you luck on your querying journey!

If there’s anything I didn’t cover here that you have questions about, please comment below or contact me here. I’m always happy to help!

How to Craft a Query That’ll Knock the Socks Off an Agent or Publisher

October 9, 2022

If you’re querying agents or publishes, you might find my pre-recorded Queries & Synopses course helpful! It can include either a query or synopsis critique—or both! Watch in the comfort of your own home, on your own time. Check out the details here!

Book your edits or assessments with me here!

When I started my author Twitter account, I almost always scrolled by someone talking about pitches, blurbs, or synopses. How challenging they are. How they don’t know what they’re doing. And I think I might be one of very few writers who enjoy the process! (Glutton for punishment? Maaaaaybe! ?)

That’s not to say I don’t find them challenging as a writer. Of course they are—you’re trying to squeeze tens of thousands of words (or more!) into a tiny 280-character pitch, a 200ish-word back cover blurb for queries, and a 500-800-word synopsis. The very thought of it is daunting. (But I do have a tip for that below!)

But it’s an exciting thing to be in the querying stage! It’s a milestone! I know a lot of writers don’t like it; it’s scary, it causes anxiety… but as with anything in life, I always say this: the key to overcoming that stress and anxiety and fear is having confidence in what you’re doing. (Similar to what my friend and fellow literary agent Cece Lyra says re: ambition over anxiety!) And how do you gain confidence? By obtaining the knowledge and experience. Knowledge + experience = confidence. And when you feel confident in what you’re doing, it shows in your writing.

Knowledge + Experience = Confidence

Let’s cover the basics. What is a query? At its core, it’s a letter that tells the reader this is a story worth reading. When you’ve written a fiction manuscript and are preparing to seek agent representation or find a publisher to buy your book, you need a query to entice them to want to read the manuscript. Nonfiction requires a proposal, which is a whole other topic, so here, we’re focusing on fiction (with one exception: memoir. Although memoir is technically nonfiction, a good memoir reads like fiction, and many agents like to see queries. Caveat: you also need a proposal—but you can start by querying and then either tell the agent you also have a proposal or sometimes your agent will work with you to create one as part of your submission package to editors).

A typical query should be between 350-375 words in total. That includes your opening paragraph (usually where the metadata is) and your bio paragraph (usually at the bottom).

Have you heard of the book-hook-cook method of writing a query letter mentioned so often by The Shit No One Tells You About Writing podcast? (Some refer to it as hook-book-cook method.) You introduce your book first, then you talk about the story and really hook that agent into asking for pages, and then you tell them a bit about yourself. And if you don’t have writing credentials, don’t worry! That’s ok. You don’t need to have a long list of publications or an MFA or even any kind of English degree. Anyone can write stories—it just takes dedication, determination, passion, and perseverance to finish those stories and polish them to the point where they’re ready for querying. It takes time, effort, and willingness to learn and grow. Never stop learning! No matter how much knowledge you possess about writing, there is always more to be learned. There’s never a point where you can say, “yep, I think I’ve finally learned all there is to know about writing,” because it’s an ever-evolving world.

So how do we hook an agent into wanting to read the pages?

Well, you want to confidently focus on specific key elements in your story without giving away spoilers. (Save that for the synopsis!) How do we do this?

Start with the opening paragraph with a bonding line and metadata. You should personalize this paragraph with a line of personalization according to each agent to show him/her/them why you are querying. What about that agent makes you think you’re a good fit for their client list? And what makes you think they’re a good fit for YOU and your story? Do you have a connection on Twitter? Mention it. Do you attend their writing webinars? Let them know how much you appreciate their knowledge and insight. Did you read on their MSWL (manuscript wish list) that they like certain story elements in a certain genre that you have in your manuscript? Mention that.

The metadata is the information about your book’s title, word count, age category and genre. If it’s a dual-timeline or a dual- or multi-POV story, this is where you tell them. This paragraph also includes comps so the agent has a general idea of tone, theme, storyline, etc. Comps are super important! And agents need to have comps in order to pitch your story to editors at publishing houses. Plus, showing two strong comps tells the agents you know your genre and are aware of what else is out there. Stick to two comps, and make sure you’ve actually read the books. You can also use a movie, tv series, or even a song or album (or even the artist!) to comp to (but use at least one book). Be creative! But show what you’re taking from each comp and how it applies to your story. Keep this paragraph small (75-100 words). Make sure you capitalize your manuscript’s TITLE and italicize the comp titles. It makes a difference in readability and follows the standard format for this paragraph.

Example Intro Paragraph: I recently saw that you’re seeking fairytale retellings with sassy witches. Have I got a story for you! I’m excited to share my 85,000-word YA dual-POV fantasy, THE SASSAFRASS WITCHES, steeped in ancient magic and grounded in contemporary New England. It’s a spin on Sleeping Beauty blended with the historical magic of Harkness’ A Discovery of Witches and the character personalities in Marais’ The Witches of Moonshyne Manor.

Next is the blurb. The blurb is essentially what you envision as the back cover copy; the write-up about your book (sans spoilers!) that will entice readers to buy it. There are many reasons people buy books, but if your blurb is boring, they’re not going to want to read it. This is also what the agents see in your query. It’s their first look at what you’ve got to offer the publishing world, so you need it to be as strong as possible when seeking agent representation. You’ve only got about thirty seconds to impress an agent, so make it count!

These are the components of a good blurb (and thanks to one of my favourite agents, Cece Lyra at P.S. Literary for most of these!). Incidentally, they all start with S’s:

Short
Specific
Story-forward
Stress & Strain
Spark curiosity
Structured
Succinct
Simple

You want your query blurb to be short and to the point, using specific details that are essential to the plot and keep it moving forward. Keep it about the main plot and don’t worry about side characters and a B story. Don’t name too many characters, and don’t focus on world-building in the blurb. You want to use powerful words that spark curiosity, but you also want to use the KISS method: keep it simple. Don’t be too flowery with your words; be succinct. Tension, emotion, and voice must be present in the query so the agent gets a sense of the stress and strain your main character is going to experience in the story. Using sharp specifics in your query blurb can help make the imagery strong and increase understanding of the plot.

Stick to one or two paragraphs if you can, or a maximum of three (usually in a dual-POV situation). The key is to highlight the most important aspects of your story. Make sure your main character (MC) is in a pressure cooker situation to elevate that tension. Use strong words that portray the tone and voice of your writing style and the theme of the story. Use emotion in your blurb. (That is to say, use wording that will elicit emotion.) You want the agent to connect with your MC, and emotion (relatability, caring about the character and their stakes) is how to do it.

Remember this: curiosity, tension, and voice are the keys to an agent’s bookish heart!

Exercise: Take a sheet of paper and a pen. Write down a few words that describe the themes and emotions in your story and the tone it represents. Also, what are the key plot points that make your story unputdownable? Then take 5-10 minutes and brainstorm words and phrases that coincide with those themes, emotions, and vibes. Take another few minutes to find synonyms for those words, or think of some clever ways to describe them. Choose the strongest, most enticing options, making sure they’ll flow nicely and make sense in your summary, and then go forth and write your blurb!

Example Plot Paragraphs:

17yo sassy Callie is excited for graduation and prom, which she’s attending with her long-time crush, Evan. She hasn’t yet told him she’s a witch, not that it matters—her mom refuses to show her anything about it. But when Evan goes missing, a desperate Callie does the only thing she can think of: she steals her mom’s secret spellbook and gathers her closest friends to rescue him. They fumble through seances and spells and end up setting in motion a series of pre-conceived events that put everyone they love in danger.

Widowed mom Juliette struggles to maintain ‘normalcy’ for Callie and her little brother ever since the tragic death of her husband, Beau. Callie will acquire her powers at 18, ready or not—something Juliette’s dreaded since their coven struck an unsavory deal with a manipulative sorceress almost two decades ago. Now that Callie has unwittingly unleashed a spell that goes against it, the sorceress has come to collect her dues. The coven isn’t keen to risk their lives for an outcast member and her daughter, forcing Juliette to give Callie a crash course on witchcraft in time to save Evan and reverse the broken deal. But the sorceress won’t go down easily. And when Beau shows up with Evan, the shocked mother-daughter duo must decide who to sacrifice and who to save—and what it is they’re fighting for.

Pro Tip: Write your query BEFORE you draft. When you get that idea, when the excitement is pulsing through your veins and you can’t wait to start outlining and get to drafting, THAT is when you want to write that blurb. It’s when you have all the exciting main ideas for the plot, the ones that are going to thrill and hook and create curiosity, before it gets cluttered with allllll the other (still important but not front-and-centre) details of the story. Because the clutter is what you want to keep OUT of the query, and it’s really hard to see the forest for the trees once you have the entire manuscript completed.

Now, don’t fret if you’ve already completed your manuscript and haven’t even started on any of this stuff. You can still do it—you just have to have a laser-sharp focus on your story so you can pick out only the things that are absolutely essential to the plot.

The other super important thing is you need to have fresh eyes on your work. If you’ve never queried before and you haven’t gotten some feedback (ideally from a few people in the writing community), I promise you: it’s not ready. It’s imperative that you have a trusted critique partner who can read your blurb. Get their opinion on it. Ask them these questions:

Do you understand the plot? (Have them summarize in their own words.)
Is there tension? Do you feel anxious for the MC?
Do you connect with the MC and understand why he/she/they must Do The Thing?
Are the stakes high enough? (Tension, tension, tension!)
Does it spark your curiosity enough to want to read the pages?

So. In your query blurb, you want to do these things:

Introduce your MC with age and a descriptor; mention a flaw, misbelief, or struggle
Allude to their secret
Introduce MC’s status quo or norm and what the MC wants in life
Introduce the catalyst or inciting incident that’s going to propel your MC into a different world or set of circumstances
Introduce an antagonist or major obstacle that’s going to disrupt that norm but give it a twist so there’s tension. The more twisty it is, the hookier your blurb will be.
What threatens your MC by the choice to accept their path?
Mention those high stakes—what specific things does your MC stand to lose?
Give a specific (but not spoiler-y!) detail about what will happen; take us to the climax of your story and leave us hanging on a huge and specific point of tension. What will the character lose if they reach their goal? What will they lose if they don’t? What is the absolute worst-case scenario for your character?
End it with a jaw-dropping line if possible—something that will absolutely make the agent say, “YES! I need to read this!”

Things to stay away from:

Rhetorical questions—it’s usually going to be the most obvious choice, and if it’s not, then why does the story even exist?
Flowery language—use powerful words and cut back on the word count
Too much description of the world or characters—we need plot in the query letter
Too many characters being named—stick to the essential characters
Not enough voice, tension, emotion
Not enough plot
Mentioning the themes—they should be apparent in the blurb (and of course in the pages)
No content warnings. If there’s sensitive content, please warn the agent. It is genuinely appreciated by all (this goes for CPs, too) and it’s not a deterrent; it’s to mentally prepare the agent/reader
Telling the agent this is “the next big novel” or that “you’re going to love it” or “it’ll give you all the feels.” A) those are awfully big shoes to fill as a debut novelist, and while it could eventually be true, you don’t want to sound over-confident. and B) an agent doesn’t want to be told how they’ll feel about your story. They’ll decide that when they get to the pages—IF they get to the pages.

Remember: the job of a query letter is to get an agent or publisher to request pages. That’s all. You must hook them with the plot and unique points so they request a full or partial manuscript. It’s not the place to tell them all about why you wrote the book or what your lists of professional and personal accomplishments comprises. Focus on the plot of this story and only this story.

You also don’t need to be super formal. Skip the addresses and contact numbers and just start right with the greeting line: “Dear [Name],” and it’s ok to use an agent’s first name or first and last name. This is safest since you may not know what the preferred pronouns are. They may state this on their website or manuscript wish list, but if not, just use their name. You can include your social media handle and/or website (if you have one) under your name. Addresses and phone numbers aren’t needed at this point in the process, so by including them in your query letter, they’re just going to get skipped over anyway, and they add to the word count and take away from the visual appeal.

Bio example: I’m professional freelance fiction editor, literary agent, and teach creative writing at our local community college two evenings a week. In the summer, I enjoy camping with my family in beautiful Ontario cottage country. In the colder months, you can find me buried in a book by my fireplace and snuggled up to our two mischievous rescue kitties.

Here’s what the above example paragraphs should look like when put together into a query letter:

For the record, the made-up query letter above is 363 words, right in that ideal window between 350-375 words.

On a separate note, I think I may have just come up with a solid new story idea…!

Below are two other examples of query letters. (Click to enlarge.)

And just for kicks, let’s take a look at my first-every query, shall we? ?

Go ahead, get your laughs out. I’ll wait. Then we’ll go over some of the reasons why it’s a really bad query.

First, it uses a question personally addressed to the reader right off the bat. At that point, the agent wouldn’t yet have any idea what the book was about, and that’s all they care about. My thought behind it was to evoke curiosity or fear, but without investment in the plot or character, who cares? I didn’t even have the right genre because at that point, I’d just written a book and that’s all that mattered. I didn’t realize how important placing your manuscript in the correct genre is. There are no stakes in the blurb, there’s no tension, no emotion. No threats, no content warning. No powerful words. It’s completely vague and we have no idea what actually happens in the plot, just that there’s some ghostly time travel involved and that Jennifer wants to end this curse so her daughter doesn’t have to deal with it. Just a bunch of hibbity-jibbity that not even a fairy godmother could transform.

The point is, it was my first query. And I sent it out. And it got rejected… (I would be shocked now if that ever garnered anything other than a rejection.) But after connecting with so many other writers in the writing community who are in all different stages of their writing careers, I built friendships. I gained knowledge. I found out about classes and courses and conferences and webinars and podcasts and writing retreats. I found out about websites and tools and I’ve learned and grown since then. And that’s the best part about the writing process—the friends you make and the knowledge you gain along the way. And then, sharing it with other writers who are where you once stood to help make their road a little less bumpy, even when your dumpster fire is embarrassing. ?

Most of us have dumpster fire query letters like my first attempt above. But by putting the effort into learning how to do it properly, we can completely change it into something that works. This is why I love critiquing queries so much. I know it’s so helpful to have other eyes on it to help make it the best it can be. I love seeing the growth in my clients’ query writing skills. ?

As a literary agent since 2023, I see SO MANY QUERIES. My inbox literally overfloweth. And from this perspective, I can assure you that it is more important now than ever to nail your query letter before querying agents because we have to be pickier and pickier about what we choose to take on in a world saturated with talented writers writing fabulous stories, in a market that’s getting trickier and trickier to break into!

Quick Tip: Be courteous and professional. A query letter is like a cover letter for a job (even though it’s you that’s hiring the agent!) and your resume is the manuscript. In *most* cases (and there are always exceptions), it’s nice to add little quirks or a bit of humour in your bio. Show the agent who YOU are. What is your author voice? Be confident (but not egotistical!)

And one last thing: with any tips you read (including this post) and feedback you receive, take what works for you, and leave the rest. I’m going to go ahead and use everyone’s favourite word and say that the publishing world is very subjective. It really is. What one person loves, another is going to dislike. No matter how much you revise your query letter (and synopsis, and pitch, and manuscript), someone will always see something that they think needs changing. At the end of the day, you need to be comfortable and confident with what you’re sending out into the world. Learn what you can, get some feedback, look for patterns, apply what resonates with you, and shoot for the stars. You will never know until you try. And you also learn and grow by trying.

You can listen to critiques of writers’ queries and first five pages by tuning into The Shit No One Tells You About Writing podcast! Hosted by author and creative writing instructor Bianca Marais and P.S. Literary agents Cece Lyra and Carly Watters, the podcast features a Books With Hooks segment each week where you can hear critiques of query letters and first five pages. How awesome is that?! The episodes also feature interviews with amazing authors and industry professionals. There’s so much to learn from listening. I highly recommend it!

Good luck on your querying journey! And if you want an extra set of eyes, I offer an array of full editing and query package critique services, which you can read more about and book here.